Super Hero Cubbies

Super Hero room transformation stage 1
G-man wanted some cool cubbies to hold up his Superhero dress up stuff so that each hero had it's own cubbie.  Well after doing some research my budget just wasn't going to be able to meet his desire.  Not only were they high in price most cubbie units came in a set with 4 cubbies.  Well he has WAY more than 4 super  hero suits plus his other dress up!! (Train conductor, Captain Hook, construction, etc.)  After getting with my Mom... which is what I do after I talk to Cory I immediately go to my mom!!  She had a suggestion of using milk crates.  I will admit at first I thought, "Uhhh NO!  That will look so tacky!!" Then I did it and Oh My Goodness it is AMAZING!!!  We got all of his dress up in the cubbies, I was able to put them at a height that we wanted, I didn't  have to but any hardware because his capes could all just Velcro around the handles of the crates!!  We could also if needed to put more then one super hero per cubbie and still be able to see/have enough room for each!  G-man is one happy boy!!

Super Hero room transformation stage 1= success!!

Fear of a what if...

If you are unaware of our past pregnancy journeys feel free to click here and catch up.  This post is God's answer to that one!

I have been very adamant that after five pregnancies and only 2 children I was not going to become pregnant again.  I don't think I could handle a loss again.  We knew that God wanted us to adopt a child before we had G man four years ago.  We have been praying and impatiently waiting for God's timing to be right and this adoption to take place.  (I have been more impatient as of late then Cory has been.) It seems that lately my facebook is filled with pregnancy announcements, adoption announcements, and baby showers or newborn pictures.  I love seeing others announcements of life but it is making me very impatient!!  Okay so lets get back on topic!!!  The topic being that I have made it a point that I will not become pregnant again because I fear the what if of a loss of that pregnancy.   

I attended my second Women of Faith event earlier this month and you know that feeling you get during a sermon that God is speaking (or yelling) to only you, well yeah the entire event I knew God was talking to me.  I didn't really know what he wanted besides for me to pay attention until Angie Smith spoke.  She spoke about living her entire life with intense fear and how God helped her through this time.  I don't deal with intense fear in my daily life so why did her story touch me?  She spoke about her daughter and how her family was able to love on this beautiful baby for less then one day before she was gone.  This broke me!  It made me mad that I won't get to see my babies again until glory and that she won't get to see her child again until glory either.  Then she asked if everyone in the arena who have suffered the loss of a child of any kind (death, miscarriage, still born, death of an adult child) to stand.  When I stood up and saw all the other broken hearted women around me it crushed me and there standing in an arena with many others I bawled. I realized that it wasn't anger anymore that I felt but fear.  I have said for so long that there would be no more pregnancies for me because I was fearful of the what if.  What if the next pregnancy ends too soon, what if the next pregnancy ends like Russ and I have to deliver a beautiful lifeless child, or what if I have a beautiful baby for less then a day???  The what if had won in my life.  Because of the fear I put on my life I was ready to take God out of it and just say no!  Angie Smith ended her session with this (I don't remember verbatim) don't live in a fear or an affliction that God hasn't put on you.  I have poly cystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) and it can leave me infertile.  My God is bigger then infertility and bigger then PCOS.  He has proven that over and over again in my life alone.  Why have I let the what if take over when I know God is bigger then the what if?  I am ready to let go of the what if.  Stop right there Momma (yes I mean you mom!!!)  I am not going to get pregnant immediately!!  Let me repeat that because I know she needs to hear it again ;) Momma I am not going to get pregnant right away!!!   I am just saying that whether our family is suppose to grow by adoption only, pregnancy only, or both I am open to the Lord's timing and will for it to happen. :)


And now just because I love them so much here are some more pictures of my precious kiddos!!

There is always someone better...

I am not writing this post to hurt any feelings but I know from my experiences, my friends, and my family that this is something we deal with, this feeling of having to live up to someone else.  My prayer is that this is helpful to you and not hurtful.

I follow many blogs of other home school families, crafters, and work at home mommies.  These are all relevant to me.  There are days that I look at what others are doing and I get down on myself.  I keep thinking that there is so much more that I could be doing and I am hurting my kids by not doing these things.  Or my house would look so much better if I made time to do these crafts and/or buy these decorations.  It is true that if you look you will find someone better then you, even if you're the best.  I do find comfort in the fact that I post my best to facebook, I pin my best on pinterest, and I blog my best on here.  We don't put our mistakes out there for the world to see.  So the people I follow on different blogs I know that they put their best out there too.  I also know that they make mistakes and don't post about them. ;)

Keeping up with other mommy friends is also a way to beat yourself up!  I have some amazing people in my life and they are all different.  That is important because we cannot live up to our friends, they have different kids, different jobs, different situations, and are just different from us!!!!!!!  I have a beautiful sweet friend who is a home school mommy of four who I admire and strive to be like.  She shows Christlike behaviors and so do her kids, she home schools all her kids, and is just plain fun to be around!  I struggle some times to get through our schedule some days with just my two sweet kiddos!  It is easy to get down on the fact that there are others successfully schooling their larger families, they are keeping their homes cleaner, or their kids are better behaved.  Well the fact is that we are different!  The way I school is different, I may or may not be able to clean during the day, and my kids are different!  It is my hope that I enjoy friendships and resists my "womanly instincts" to compare!

What society says I should do as a mother.  Well first of all it seems taboo to home school.  If you would have asked me a couple of years ago I would have told you that my children would be in the public schools and I would be teaching but they wouldn't be in my class.  I was convinced I would retire in the classroom and never miss a year of teaching!  God eats "plans" for breakfast!!!  I was given the opportunity to work for an amazing ministry which allows me to work at home and have the opportunity to home school my kids.  Honestly at first we started home schooling out of convenience and then after attending our states home school convention we were convicted to continue!  Homeschooling is a conviction my husband and I share and we would love to talk to you about it but we don't look down on anyone for their choice of education as we hope you do the same. (If you are considering homeschooling please check this out!) I don't wish to push my convictions onto you as they came from God for me, He will convict you of some other things that He won't convict me of.  I can't live up to societies standards of what a mother should be because it wouldn't benefit our family.

All of this is wonderful and I know it all to be true, but I still struggle with these things.  I struggle with jealousy of others and trying to keep up with others.  I know that I have to do what is best for my family, my schedule, my personality, and my convictions.  We can run ourselves ragged trying to be someone else or we can enjoy the short time we have with our family.  I know that time is better spent being me and making memories!

Mommy to a little girl (Part 2 of 4)

Little Miss has changed our lives in ways so different from G man.  For one thing, I thought we were prepared for the emotions.  I had them with G man and knew what to expect and yet her she came and scared me to death, filled me with joy, made my heart so full I didn't know what to do, and gave me a smile I couldn't contain!!

1. Bows and lace!  For those that know me know that I don't wear make-up.  I don't do anything to my hair except flat iron it straight and then tuck it behind my ears.  I rarely get dolled up.  When I found out God was giving us a girl I immediately filled with fear!  I just knew that she was a boy and I was prepared to have a boy.  I was so nervous because I was never going to learn how to make bows or have enough fashion sense to dress her.  Well it didn't take long for me to snap out of that!! A couple of youtube videos on bow making, 4 FULL bow holders, a closet full of lace and tulle, and a rotten little girl who is always dolled up... I think I figured it out!

2. Girls have a bravery that is undeniable.  This child has no fear!!!!!!!  As some would say, "she'll only do it once,"  you are all wrong!!  Even after falling or getting hurt she will get right back up and do it again.  She loves playing with her very imaginative brother and she isn't afraid to "abandon ship" when the ship (couch) hits rough water.  She dives into pillows and chases monsters out of the castle!   Not only is she brave but she is tough.  For a long time we didn't think she felt pain.  This is funny to us now but at first was very scary.  She had some very painful illnesses and she showed no sign of pain.  She rarely cries because of a hurt.  She had a rough start and had to literally fight for each breath.  We watched her through glass for days as she struggled to breathe.  I blame her "tough" start on her "tough" personality!!

3. Legos or baby dolls?  Legos for this girl!!  Like I said anything that brother is playing with is exactly what she is doing.  I am surprised to see that even though she plays all day with bubba she picks up her baby and cradles her, feeds her, and takes her to bed with her every night.  I say I am surprised because this isn't something that we taught her to do.  She is surrounded by legos and super heroes all day and then her "mommy" side comes out and she has to make sure her baby is taken care of before bed.  G man would play with babies when he was younger but never with the softness.  I love the different ways God's design for these children shows through.

 

4. Soft kisses and bossy babbles!  She is going to have a lot to say when she figures it out!  She has some bossy babbles going on even some finger pointing, but she can give the sweetest kisses!  She has showed me that love and compassion is something that is taught.  Growing up in church I heard that we are born in sin, but I couldn't imagine how a sweet precious baby could sin, now I know.  She has to learn how to be kind, share, and show love even if she is mad!  (I am still learning some of that!)     

5. All kids are different.  My pregnancies were different, (well for one I didn't find out I was pregnant with Little miss until almost 5 months and then had her a month early!!!) their starts were different, and now they are so much different.  I should have noticed it sooner but it didn't set in until Little miss was about 10 months old.  G man walked at 9 months and never crawled and Little miss crawled for 13 months before walking!!  The techniques we used to soothe or discipline G man have had NO affect on Little miss.  I tell you all of this to make the point that she changed my life in an entirely different way.  With G man I feared the boogie man or Pedophile Pete were going to kidnap him or that I would lose him in a wreck or other accident.  With Little miss I had more 'rational' fears that she would stop breathing.  Her lungs weren't ready and we fought different breathing struggles until recently.  In my prayer life I plead for their salvation, safety, future, and healthy development just as I did with G man; now I also recognize that these children aren't mine and I have no control over the irrational scenarios I come up with.  These are God's children he gave them to me and I love them so much and want to help them make fun memories while learning and living life together!!!

Being Mommy (1 of 4)

This my 100th post!!  Wow!!! Mini celebration!!

OK now back to business.  I am excited about this 4 part blog post.  I have been wrestling on what to post then at Women of Faith God reveled to me about some parts that needed to be included and the rest just came from there!

This post is all about being the Mommy to a boy.  There are 6 things that being G man's mommy has opened my eyes to.

1.  Clean is not clean enough!!  I thought the hardest thing about being newly weds was the adjustment I had to make to living with a boy.  Yeah I grew up with a younger brother but my Mom cleaned after him, now that I am married I was the one who has to clean up after my husband!!  Well no mess my husband made could ever compare to the mess this beautiful little boy was going to bring to our lives!!  lets start with bathroom mats, I cleaned them before having my boy but after potty training I never knew how much I would have to clean them!  It doesn't matter if he sits or tires to stand there is going to be a pee soaked bath rug!!!  That is just one of many examples!!

2. Mohawks and rain boots!  I never knew how adorable a fashion fo paux could be! This little man will wear his rain boots with ANYTHING!  I mean we have summers where 99 degrees is a low and G man is out there in shorts and rubber rain boots!  I can't help but smile every time I see him. During his last hair cut he was fighting it so I asked him what would make him be still and not cry.  He wanted a "rocking awesome" haircut so a mohawk it was!  I HATE it!!  He LOVES it!! So because he is so in love with it I would never let him know that I don't, and if you happen to run into him he will have a mohawk! :)

3. Blue eyes!  I never thought someone would be able to pull a sweet little innocent look on me and it would work!!!!!!!  This rotten boy can shoot me a million dollar smile and flash those baby blues and all I want to do is hug on him.

4. Boys can be sensitive!  According to the world's thought boys aren't suppose to be sensitive or emotional.  But this little boy feels the pain or emotions of those around him.  He is so rough with his sister but when he does actually hurt her it breaks his heart and he cries harder then she does.  The job I have is at a group home type of setting where families (single women and their children) come in and live in the house attached to ours and we love on them and the kids play together.  We have been here almost a year and in that time we have said goodbye to 3 families which translates to 8 kids that he has cried over.  He loves friends and is saddened when they move.  This boy does wear his emotions on his sleeve.

5. Dangerous!  G man can turn any game into an ER trip!!  OK so we have only been to the ER with him once, but there were SEVERAL times I thought we would have to.  This kid loves excitement.  He builds things to jump off of!  His favorite game is to take all of the pillows and pile them into the floor and jump into them.  It is his pool!  He told me the other day he wants to go in a hot air balloon and then jump out of an airplane!!  I am excited about this because I need a roller coaster buddy, I just have to wait for him to grow a little more.

6. Changed my life.  People have said and will continue to tell others that children will change your life.  Nothing someones else says will prepare you for how much they will change your life.  All of sudden I couldn't watch the news.  Violence against children just broke me and the news was filled with it.  I could come up with crazy scenarios of what might happen to this precious gift that God gave me.  I watched him sleep and would cry!  The amount of love I have for him in my heart is enough to make me cry.  It is crazy!!!  I am not a crazy person... REALLY!  He not only changed the way I think but the things I do.  All of sudden  we weren't having date nights alone! We were going to the drive in movies with G man!  He also changed my prayer life!  I went from praying in the now and being a pretty selfish prayer to praying for his future, his salvation one day, and his life!

Wishing to play with photoshop...

Day 25: playing with photoshop

I was so excited about this day until it came!!!  I have no clue how to work photo shop!!!!!!!!!!  I have tried and tried!!  I saw the coolest pin on pinterest of all the fun shots a Daddy did with his little girls and I was all inspired... until I remembered that I don't know how to do ANY of that hahahahaha!!!  Oooppss!!  So instead of trying any longer I am just going to show you one of my favorite things that my sister-in-law did after our family pictures!!

Cory has the goofiest smile when we take pictures!!!  I hate it and his sister REALLY hates it since she is the one who has to edit all of our pictures!!  She is so amazing and I love all of her work (even the ones she puts on her blog that aren't my kids) and she knows just how to make us look wonderful!!  But after hours of editing and getting frustrated that Cory didn't take 1 decent picture this was her retaliation!!!

All I can say is that Cory is right... No one will be crying after the slide show at his funeral!!! We will all just crack up laughing because NO ONE has a decent picture of him!!!

What makes a daddy...

Recipe for a good Daddy...

1. Have to be willing to jump around and act crazy to avoid getting shot by lasers.

2. Look cool with your kids

3. Be willing to fight in the matrix if need be!

4. Read to kids.

5. Be able to be a comfortable bed for a nap if needed.

6. Be silly and loving at the same time!

7. Can't be afraid to get a little dirty!

8. Always willing to share!

9. Be prepared for shopping trips!

10. Understand that we don't like to share you... even with cousins!

11. Able to be the joker as well as take a joke!!

12. Prepare for your life to change in an instant! 

13. Take all the loves when you can get them!!

14. Love the mommy at all times!!! Happy wife happy life!!!

Happy father's day to my sweet husband who does an amazing job at being himself!!

I love you Funny Face!

Day 24: Silly face!

These pictures are from about a month ago but nothing we could do would top this moment!  G man has been taken off of red dye 40 because of the way his body processes it.  He gets out of control and gets frustrated as well as frustrating those around him!!  He has been dye free for a little over a month now and is doing WONDERFUL!!!  I am so excited that this change has helped him!  He does so much better in uncomfortable situations.  Which brings me to the day these pictures were taken:

We were waiting in the room for the Doctor to come and then get shots and for this first time G man came up to me and told me he was bored.  This is significant since before he would have just started acting like a crazy man!!  So my solution was to do this....

Crazy face!!

Cheesy smile!!! 

Blowing our cheeks!!

Scared face!!

Mean face!!!

Surprise face!!

Fake sleeping...

He pretended to sleep for a long time!!! :) 

Chalk fun!

Day 23: Chalk

I have been waiting and waiting for this one!!!  I had a lot of ideas and then let G man pick some that he wanted to do and we went out and did them!  This one is the one he found on Google search that he wanted me to draw for him!!!

I of course talked him out of it!!!  I can't draw this!!!  But isn't it amazing!

Here are our chalk photos!!

 G man the super hero!!

Prince G

My little butterfly... She didn't want to lay and have a picture taken, she wanted to keep drawing!!

Princess L

They are flying away with balloons!! 

 I told them to act like they were flying so Little Miss lifted up her legs!!! :)

We had so much fun with this!!! Our driveway looks a little bit crazy with so many random drawings around but it is colorful!!!