Let me start with the past. When I was first talked to about Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) was by my cousin who had just been diagnosed with it. It broke my heart for her. Within the year I had the same diagnoses. I was told that I would become infertile and that carrying a pregnancy to full term would be very difficult. As I have discussed in many past posts G man was born at 42 weeks by the grace of God and then Little miss at what we thought was 36 weeks but after delivery she appeared to only be about 32 weeks developed. (My doctor had a hard time pinning down a due date for her due to a lot of circumstances.) We had also experienced loss. Three precious boys that I was unable to carry to full term due to the PCOS.
I say all that to let you know that our hearts have been given a desire for adoption since early in our marriage. We just didn't know God's timing or the ins and outs of how He would have us to adopt since there are so many different options. We began the adoption process in late 2013. Going into this process we had two specific children in mind but after some visitations we had to make some hard decisions for everyone involved. We then were matched with another case worker and had to redo some of our paperwork. Feeling beaten down by this long process we had given up. I wasn't upset. I felt at peace with this. It made sense after all that we had been through the past 7 months and the roller coaster of emotions we had experienced as a family. Maybe we needed to think through some options. I wasn't infertile yet. So I made an appointment and it was time for us to try and have a baby again.
Since our move (3 years ago) I hadn't found a doctor I liked. I made an appointment that I wasn't excited about. She was amazing! She explained PCOS in great detail. She ordered labs and then explained every bit of them to me the next week. That is when it happened. She told me that I was infertile. Surprisingly enough I didn't cry. I didn't get mad. I listened to her and with hope in my voice I asked what the next step was. After being told that I had to get serious about weight loss and that maybe my last chance to balance my hormones out she gave me 18 months of waiting before we will do the lab work again and re-check. Now although I am saddened that we are having to wait longer than I planned we are happy that God still has a plan for us. We are still trying to seek out what that plan is. Adoption is heavy on our hearts and sometimes aches for it but for now we are prayerfully waiting for God's timing.
